Monday, 6 March 2017

And the consequence was.....

There are three main characters in my 'in law' story....
G. - my father in law
(Defined by running his own cycle shop business in Oxford and his passion for gardening; retired at the age of 82; bought first floor flat retirement flat nowhere near old house BUT near brother-in-law;  literally bored out of his brain...)
P. - my brother in law
(Has worked with father all life without taking on any real responsibility; maximised his relationship with his father for substantial financial gain; makes a habit of lobbing words, facts and falsehoods very much in the style of a certain recently elected President; a difficult man to get on with...)
A. - P's long term partner
(A very kind woman... currently exhausted by the situation)
 
G. should have been staying with us for a long weekend from Friday until tomorrow. 
On these occasions I've always gone to Oxford to collect him and taken him home again at the end of his stay - about 280 miles in total.  He told P that he no longer wishes to visit us... so we went down anyway to chat to him and find out what's wrong.
 
Basically he's depressed and neglecting himself.  He can't cope with the 'upheaval' of planning for a few days away.  He's also got some short-term memory loss problems.  Doctors etc are involved and we'll find out the results of a wide range of tests on Wednesday.
 
In the background P. has been engaged in the usual verbal 'white noise'.
(One of his most recent gems was to accuse me of having no idea how to look after seriously ill elderly people.............!!)
 
My wonderful Mark dealt with everyone calmly and kindly..
G. knows that we love him.
P. knows that, with the best will in the world, we cannot drive 140 miles to put eye drops in his fathers eyes.
P. has also been reminded that, if he wants help, we respond better to pleasantries than abuse..
A. knows that we think she's a saint...
 
We got back to our little haven in Worcester at 6.00...
and by 6.05 Mark had poured the wine!!!!
 
More time with L. today... and lunch with Mum and Dad.
Jx
 

8 comments:

  1. Oh I can relate, to a point. Take care that you don't let P ever be taken too seriously. I've one on both sides of the family and they make already exhausting situations more so, without really helping much.

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  2. Oh I can relate, to a point. Take care that you don't let P ever be taken too seriously. I've one on both sides of the family and they make already exhausting situations more so, without really helping much.

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  3. These situations can prove so difficult. It sounds like A deserves a medal. I hope you are able to find more of those precious moments where you are able to take a step back and pour the wine. X

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  4. Families, eh! My in-laws have never been a problem, even though they live far, far away. It was my hubby's in-laws that were always the problem & we still have one, though he can't help any of it himself, in being intellectually disabled. He's now my responsibility & we cope the best we can. I think I've spoken about him on my very occasionally on my blog. Relax, have a better week & take care.

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  6. It is an upsetting situation and one I identify with. You could be describing what we went through six years ago with my brother in law. I know it makes a difficult situation nigh on impossible and even more stressful,than it already is. Would you father in law be open to having a nurse come in and administer his medications?

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  7. Families. Can't live with, can't live without. I applaud your restraint.

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