You are what you eat..

..and in my father-in-laws case the all the tests show that he has Vitamin B12 deficiency.

All G.'s symptoms - extreme fatigue, irritability, depression, character changes and loss of memory and understanding - have come from his very poor diet.  He's fallen into a cycle of being quite aggressive about avoiding food too.

 

Fortunately, we understand that this can be treated with injections and supplements.

We hope that the injections may trigger his appetite again and there won't be too much long term damage.  (G. ate an entire Weatherspoon's big breakfast AND apple crumble while he was on holiday with us in November, so there's hope!)

 

Mark and P. are also talking regularly, which is keeping the 'bigger picture' of family relationships calmer too.  As a result, I feel a lot less anxious and stressed about this area of our life!

 

It's been a bit of a crazy week though...

- My beloved Series 2 Discovery is ill again.  (Solution - borrow Dad's sporty old Nissan 200SX and enjoy the twin turbos... Woop, woop!)

- I spent four hours at Accident and Emergency yesterday afternoon with a friend who had major heart surgery 18 months ago.  (Outcome - the pain wasn't his heart, just the muscles/bones in the chest cavity... what a relief!)

- Dad's asthma is really bad again and he's spending a lot of time at the doctors. (Positive - he's finally working with a doctor at the surgery who seems prepared to put a more systematic review and long-term action plan in place.  Now I've just got to encourage Dad to be honest about the challenges of being Mum's carer and the correlation between her 'bad days' and his own health)

- We're having the conservatory replaced next week.  I really need to start clearing it...

 

In the meanwhile...

- I want to send niece L. back to uni with some 'pocket warmers'.   I haven't started them yet and I'm having a coffee with her late tomorrow morning.  She goes back on Saturday.  Eeek!

- I'm somewhere over halfway through the lacy knitted scarf that I'm making for my friends birthday... next Tuesday.  Eeek, eek!!!

- I've also been enjoying loads of lovely social chats.  I'm off again in half and hour to pick up the Nissan and drive to Redditch for a gossip with an ex-colleague.

 

How did I find time to work???!

Jx 

 

 

And the consequence was.....

There are three main characters in my 'in law' story....

G. - my father in law

(Defined by running his own cycle shop business in Oxford and his passion for gardening; retired at the age of 82; bought first floor flat retirement flat nowhere near old house BUT near brother-in-law;  literally bored out of his brain...)

P. - my brother in law

(Has worked with father all life without taking on any real responsibility; maximised his relationship with his father for substantial financial gain; makes a habit of lobbing words, facts and falsehoods very much in the style of a certain recently elected President; a difficult man to get on with...)

A. - P's long term partner

(A very kind woman... currently exhausted by the situation)

 

G. should have been staying with us for a long weekend from Friday until tomorrow. 

On these occasions I've always gone to Oxford to collect him and taken him home again at the end of his stay - about 280 miles in total.  He told P that he no longer wishes to visit us... so we went down anyway to chat to him and find out what's wrong.

 

Basically he's depressed and neglecting himself.  He can't cope with the 'upheaval' of planning for a few days away.  He's also got some short-term memory loss problems.  Doctors etc are involved and we'll find out the results of a wide range of tests on Wednesday.

 

In the background P. has been engaged in the usual verbal 'white noise'.

(One of his most recent gems was to accuse me of having no idea how to look after seriously ill elderly people.............!!)

 

My wonderful Mark dealt with everyone calmly and kindly..

G. knows that we love him.

P. knows that, with the best will in the world, we cannot drive 140 miles to put eye drops in his fathers eyes.

P. has also been reminded that, if he wants help, we respond better to pleasantries than abuse..

A. knows that we think she's a saint...

 

We got back to our little haven in Worcester at 6.00...

and by 6.05 Mark had poured the wine!!!!

 

More time with L. today... and lunch with Mum and Dad.

Jx